I call this one 'Widey,' because it's wider than most of the others.

Spotty, because it's got a lot of spots, and some areas that aren't spots, but are just plain colour.

Old Faithful. Named after one of the two people sitting next to me. I'll let you work out which one.

Young Bluey, not to be confused with Old Bluey.

Browny. I have a lot of fun choosing names for my ties.

This bloke had the wrong idea about ties, but I placed it in my 'exotic' section.

Schoolie.

Dimples.

Frank Zappa.

Stripey. I had a few chuckles the first time I wore Stripey, let me tell you.

Old Yella.

Big Red.

Goldie. That's not a tie. This is a tie. What a legend this tie is. When I was in Timor it nearly saved my life. If someone had been shooting at me, and if Goldie had been made of Kevlar, and if the bullet had aimed right at it, I would have been as safe as houses. Obviously not houses in the outer west of Sydney's mortgage belt, but other houses, like the ones in Mosman.

Old Bluey again. You can tell a classic tie when you see it, can't you?

Young Bluey again.

Basil. He's a cheeky tie, that one.

Sir Humphalot.

Smokey Bear.

Goldie again. I love that tie. Not in the sort of way you'd find in Oxford St, Sydney, not the Michael Hutchence sort of way, but in the manly, old school tie kind of way.

Old Bluey. It's seen a few state dinners, that tie. And a drop of two of gravy if I'm being honest. And some sauce. And once, heh heh, a dollop of custard. It was nice custard, too.

Smokey Bear again. A dependable tie. Like gunpowder, you can rely on it.

Big Red again. Useful for both formal and informal, I usually take Big Red with me when I'm travelling.

I think I was having a few drinks with Alex and we swapped ties for a laugh. It's not one of mine.

Smokey Bear again! I swear, one glimpse of a camera and Smokey's leaping for my neck like half the country will probably want to do to me after I leave Australia to Peter!

The Silver Fox. I get a bit excited in Silver.

Silver Fox again, me excited with Donald or Dick. I can never tell them apart. Can you?

Spotty again. Sometimes I giggle when I call him that.

Trevor

Goldie again. A man and his tie. Did I mention I love this tie?

THX1138

Another stupid exotic. Why can't people just get me good old fashioned Australian ties. Real ties and not this sort of multicultural rubbish?

Tie Phoon. I got the name of this tie from a Thai restaurant I went passed one night doing about 120 in my motorcade.

Old Bluey, again.